We’ve all heard of being “catfished” or being misled on the internet by someone who’s created a fake profile in order to gain attention or deceive us into relationships, friendship, or business dealings, If you think you are being catfished or think a friend or family member is please read on.
While initially this term was used around 2005 in reference to the MTV show Catfish featuring Nev Schulman, today it’s more pervasive than ever and can be extremely damaging; it’s estimated in the US alone, one in 10 online dating profiles are fake.
Whether you have been catfished or think you may be, it’s important to stay alert and know the warning signs of a fake profile. To help you better recognise what to look for, we’ve compiled a list of 10 warning signs you may be being catfished. Keep reading to learn more about the warning signs, what you can do if you think you’ve been catfished, and how to prevent it from happening in the future.
There is a Catfishing Epidemic as we stand, more people pretending to be someone they are no online than ever before, and we all need to learn and understand how to avoid and deal with this.
Quick Clarification
You should watch for any red flags such as long delays in communication or messages, requests for money, inconsistent stories, and profile pictures not matching people. Other signs include avoiding video chat or meeting in person and refusing to give personal information. If someone does not video chat with you or send a live image, you are being manipulated and should block them or at least do some investigation into the person and not just run headlong into a relationship with someone you have doubts about. You should seek advice from a third party, who can be more objective, as often you are too deeply involved to see if you are being exploited or scammed.
They have a picture on their profile of someone very attractive
Let’s be clear, not all attractive people online are trying to catfish you. However, catfishers use attractive pictures as their main weapon to win you over and attract your attention.
You MUST reverse image search for any images they send you. If you find any results for any of their pictures, then you are being catfished and played. Unfortunately, the reverse image search is not that reliable anymore, so even if it finds no matches, it does not mean your not being taken advantage of. You should be constantly suspicious if you suspect their social media or dating profile seems fake.
If you speak to anyone online who has a picture that looks like an instagram model, your first thought should be that this could be too good to be true, so I am going to be self-aware in this situation, because generally hot models do not often sit online talking to random people. It definitely does happen. I have met 3 or 4 models who were actually real online in my 20 years online. However, they are often aware of their own attractiveness and do enjoy talking to people who just admire them for their looks. They are very normal people that do not act crazy.
The reason they use attractive images to get your attention, and it lowers your guard in some cases, is because you think, wow, think that hot woman is talking to me and likes me. Sadly, it’s often a trick. They are using pictures to manipulate you. It’s easy to be fooled. I am guessing that most people on the internet have spoken to someone who has hoodwinked them or tricked them with a fake image. It happens a lot, but often people can see through this.
We are often also not used to being lied to, we often take people on their world online, as why would they lie right? Unfortunately, this is a very naive way to look at the online world.
My First Catfish Experience
I remember my first experience of catfishing. It was before the movie of Catfish and before catfishing was even a thing, where someone on MSN chat would essentially stalk me pretending to be different hot girls and then try to manipulate me or try to convince me to like them. However, I met a friend of the catfish on the same chat who told me what she was doing. I am not sure why she told me this. They felt guilty, I imagine, but after getting to know her she let it slip they were both in their 40s but pretending to be 25-year-olds.
So they were really sad older people looking for attention. I saw a picture of the original person who catfished me. She was a very unattractive, plump person. I told her that her friend had told me what she was doing. She said sorry and said would I say hello to her if I saw her in the street, which was kinda weird but shows the insecurity of this person. She was a very sad person who had gone through a divorce and was using chat rooms to help her solve her own problems, ignoring any problems with people she was causing catfishing.
They have a job that either impresses you or is amazing.
I have compiled a list of the top jobs catfish use to manipulate people. If you meet any of these people, you should run a mile or at least not do more than have a conversation with them.
Popular jobs female catfish often have online
If you are speaking to a female online who has one of the following careers or jobs, then you should be extra vigilant because these are the occupations most used when people have been cheated or conned..
1) Stripper
2) Dancer of any kind
3) Model
4) Escort or pro
5) Investor
6) Job Recruitment
7) Police Officer / FBI
8) Drug dealer/runner
9) Mole – Moles are used to manipulating guys into doing illegal tasks for them. They will even sleep with them to get them to do tasks for them.
10) Influancer – watch the tinder swindler to find out more about this on Netflix
Popular jobs men say they have to catfish people online
1) Working in the armed forces
2) Investor or banking
3) Working abroad for an oil company
4) working abroad for a company that has had funds seized or equipment and needs money they promise to pay back
5) Police Officer or FBI
6) doctor or Surgeon
7) Drug dealer
8) Millionaires want to fly you to another country to be with them as they love you. For example, Andrew Tate romance fraud, kidnapping people
9) Influencer – Again see the tinder swindler, who used his fake personal and swindled millions from women he met online
10) Property Developer- anyone trying to tell you good deals in property and investing in land is a red flag
If you want to learn more about why you have no matches on tinder find out here.
Clues That Someone is Playing Cat and Mouse Online
With the anonymity of the internet, it is often difficult to tell if someone is being honest or playing a game. Someone playing cat and mouse online may be more vague than usual when communicating with you, will not commit to any interactions, and will often come off as mysterious. They might resist revealing their last name and other personal details, and will try to keep you guessing about their true motives.
On the one hand, there could be other explanations for this type of behaviour; someone who is extraordinarily shy or nervous may not be trying to catfish you at all and genuinely does not want to disclose too much about themselves. On the other hand, though, someone who is trying to catfish you is likely trying to maintain a level of mystery in order to continue using their fake persona.
It can be beneficial for red flagging to take note if someone seems hesitant or never reaches a conclusion when talking with you, as these are both signs that someone may be looking to get something out of you while they remain mysterious and aloof.
Ultimately, recognising the difference between someone who has good reason to stay anonymous versus someone who isn’t being truthful is a tough call but can potentially save you from falling victim to a fake profile. With that in mind, it is important to pay attention to how well defined a person’s backstory and stories are when getting to know them online. Having an open eye and ear can help you transition into the next section which looks at what clues can indicate an anonymous persona.
Top Points to Remember
Be aware of the possibility of catfishing when talking to people online. Pay attention to how transparent they are being and if they are trying to maintain a level of mystery in order to continue using their fake persona. Clues that can indicate a fake persona include someone not committing to interactions, resisting revealing personal details, and never reaching a conclusion when talking with you. Ultimately, recognising the difference between someone who is being genuine and someone attempting to catfish is important for your safety.
Anonymous Personas
Ultimately, the clearest sign that you are being catfished is a complete anonymity of the individual you are talking to. Regardless of how strong their online presence appears to be, if they cannot provide a valid name, phone number or living address, it is likely that they are pulling your leg. It is definitely worth questioning why someone who appears to have genuine interest in both you and your life maintains such strict privacy when it comes to themselves. If they were really willing to get to know you, wouldn’t they be more than ready to share basic identifying information?
Although anonymity between two people can be beneficial for safety purposes if done correctly and openly discussed in advance, it is often a front for someone with suspicious motives. Even if this isn’t the case with your potential suitor, one thing for certain is it won’t hurt to be slightly wary about interacting with someone whose identity remains unverifiable. On the flip side, if lack of clarity on the person’s real-world identity is simply due to convenience in communication or their wishes for privacy and space in their personal lives, it might actually be seen as a positive sign. The bottom line: anonymous personas should always raise cautionary flags, but should also not be outright dismissed without further consideration depending on context.
When confronted with anonymous personas online, it pays off a big lot to take some time to assess each situation separately and look out for any additional warning signs before jumping into action. With that said, let’s move onto the next warning sign – questionable phone numbers – which can help us better identify whether we are dealing with a catfish or an honest companion.
Questionable Phone Numbers
Making contact with a person you met online is a crucial step in determining whether they are real or not. Phone numbers can be very telling when it comes to catching a catfish: Are they willing to give you their number? Or do they make up excuses as to why they cannot call you? If a number is given, take extra steps to ensure reliability by verifying the area code matches their geographic location and running it through an online directory.
If possible, phone conversations yield more information than texting or emails. This can help establish if the individual acts authentically. Of course, one should always use caution before giving out any personal information over the phone.
The other side of this argument could be that not everyone may have access to a phone or even want to talk on the phone. With the rise of mobile apps like FaceTime and other video chatting options, some people prefer alternate methods of communication. It is important for those doing the questioning to respect the boundaries communicated by the person being questioned.
Overall, questionably, numbers can provide some insight into whether or not you are dealing with a potential catfish, but other factors must also be considered. While a phoneless individual is nothing suspicious in itself, it could be an indication of something deeper. Moving ahead cautiously while using available evidence will guide us closer to identifying unearthed profiles and false identities.
When deciding whether your digital companion is real, photos and profile pictures offer additional clues about authenticity – offering many discernible signs between virtual reality and actuality.
Photos and Profile Pictures
When debating the validity of a profile online, it is important to remember that photos can easily be edited and are often unreliable sources of information. Profile pictures, however, usually carry more weight, as they should accurately represent an individual. Unfortunately, scammers often abuse this by using stock photos or images taken from other people’s profiles. If a photo looks too good to be true or overly professional, chances are you are being catfished.
Other nuances to look out for include inconsistent names or age discrepancies in the photo captions. In addition, scammers may attempt to conceal their identity by omitting their name in the caption or watermarking their photo with emojis. If someone has belittled you for asking for a clear shot of their face—and blames the lighting or their cell phone camera—they may not be legitimate.
Trust your intuition: if something doesn’t look right with the profile pictures, move along and continue your search elsewhere. Narrowing down key elements such as facial features can help unmask certain clues as well.
Similar to phone numbers, always err on the side of caution when evaluating someone’s profile pictures—it’s better to be safe than sorry! Asking for live video calls or selfies with specific identifiers written on paper can help authenticate someone if you’re unsure about them. Above all else, stay vigilant and don’t let your guard down until you have ascertained that the person is genuine.
The next step in verifying someone’s identity is by seeing if they remain consistent in real life — this may require meeting up in person or arranging video calls. Keep monitoring for warning signs and use your intuition: if something feels suspicious or off-putting, then trust your gut and discontinue contact immediately.
- According to a 2019 survey by the Pew Research Centre, 15% of US adults have been victims of online romance scams, where someone pretends to be another person in order to gain a personal or financial advantage.
- According to Match Group’s 2020 State of Dating in America report, one in seven American singles have been catfished – deceived by someone assuming a false identity online.
- A 2017 study published in Computers in Human Behaviour found that 30% of participants had experienced being catfished at least once and that men were more likely than women to be a victim.
Signs The Person Is Not Being Honest in Real Life
When evaluating whether or not someone is being truthful, consider the lifestyle they project in real life. Someone who can’t seem to keep appointments, doesn’t answer their phone and never has a concrete plan doesn’t generally mean they are lying, but it could be a red flag worth closer inspection. If you start to pick up on patterns like this, it may be worth considering if your person of interest may be misleading in some way.
On the other hand, it is important to remember that digital relationships can often develop slower than physical ones. A person who takes their time sharing information about themselves in the early stages of a relationship shouldn’t immediately raise suspicion – instead, try and focus on the other warning signs or have an honest conversation about why they aren’t ready to share certain details with you yet.
It also pays to stay attuned to inconsistencies between what photos or stories a person tells online versus in real life. For example, if someone tells you have been on vacation in Miami recently and then when you see them or meet them in person they explain they were actually at home the whole time, there is likely a discrepancy between what they portray online versus reality.
No matter which red flags you observe online or offline, it’s always best to take a cautious approach if you suspect someone is not being completely honest. The next step is getting comfortable asking questions – particularly questions that help provide more clarity about someone’s true identity.
Questions About You or Your Friends/Family/Person You’re Dating
In addition to detecting the signs the person you’re talking to is not being honest in real life, it’s also important to evaluate their level of interest in you or your friends and family. Asking numerous questions in order to gain information that they can use against you is one of the most common tactics used by catfishes. It may come through as genuine curiosity or they may be suspiciously seeking out too much personal information.
On the other hand, if you are dating someone online, it is understandable that they would want to learn more about the people close to you. They would want to understand your relationships better since those connections might have a huge influence on your life. However, there is a difference between forming a deeper connection with someone by learning about those ties, and collecting information that could potentially be used against you. Pay attention to any red flags such as if their questions become more intrusive or if these topics make you uncomfortable.
No matter the situation, remember that being overly guarded can get in the way of meaningful conversations, so try your best to maintain a healthy balance – allow yourself to trust but trust your gut as well. If you’re feeling uneasy about something, talk it over with someone else who can help provide an unbiased perspective before jumping into action. It’s important to take caution when engaging in online interactions while avoiding paranoia and staying open-minded.
Now that we understand how to spot warning signs that you are being catfished and evaluate how certain conversations may be a cause for concern, let’s move on to discussing what steps should be taken to protect ourselves and our information if we find ourselves in such situations.
What to Do If You Are getting Catfished
If you find yourself being catfished, the first step is to take a step back and assess the situation. You may have already experienced some of the warning signs discussed earlier, such as suspicious questions about your life or friends/family/person you’re dating, but it’s important to be mindful of all aspects of your relationship in order to take action.
Many victims of catfishing become so fixated on the idea of creating a meaningful connection with someone that they ignore their own red flags. They might tell themselves that the other person is just shy or trying to take their time getting to know them. But by recognising when something strange is happening, you can react in the most effective way possible.
The most effective next step to take if you are being catfished is to stop engaging with the individual in question and cut off contact as soon as possible. Nothing good will come out of continuing a conversation with someone who has lied about their true identity. If you don’t disengage from them, there’s always a chance that your conversations could lead to something more serious and dangerous, such as blackmail or stalking.
It may also be beneficial to report the catfish to social media sites or law enforcement authorities if you feel it is necessary. This should be done only after all attempts have been made to distance yourself from the situation, but can help bring justice to those behind these schemes and potentially prevent others from experiencing similar ordeals in the future.
Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself both emotionally and physically after an experience like this one. The aftermath can often leave victims feeling embarrassed, hurt and violated so it’s important to talk about your experiences with someone you trust and learn how to better protect yourself in the future by setting appropriate boundaries when interacting with strangers online.
Master the art of navigating dating challenges with our expert guide on ‘Dealing with Difficult Situations in Dating: Expert Advice and Strategies
Responses to Frequently Asked Questions
Why do people pretend to be someone else online and are catfishing others?
The short answer is, because they can there are currently no direct laws as yet against this kind of behaviour, this will have to change, but even if the person they are catfishing finds out the culprit will just block them and likely the website they are using will do nothing or at the most ban them, so there are no consequences at all.
The long answer is, its multi faceted meaning there are lots of reasons, some just do it because they are bored and want someone to talk to them or fuss over them
However there is a dark side to this, some people do this to take things from others, be it gift cards, their money and even stealing someone’s life savings, if you do this you are a complete low life and should be in prison
The times I’ve been catfished the worst is from gay guys pretending to be girls to try to solicit intimate pictures of videos from me for their own selfish sexual gratification, this happens all over the internet 1000s of times a day to men, girls and even children, this kind of behaviour is disgusting and this is illegal, to anyone who does this I hope people find out about what kind of person you really are the police catch up with you, and the shame consumes you, rant over
Are there any common warning signs of being catfished?
Yes, there are several common warning signs of being catfished. One major red flag is when a person’s online profile appears to be too good to be true. Look out for unrealistically flattering photos, descriptions that seem generic or too perfect, and claims that appear to be exaggerated. Additionally, if a person begins professing their love after just a few conversations, or constantly avoiding meeting in real life, there may be cause for suspicion. Finally, payment requests such as asking for money or expensive gifts could also be signs of catfishing.
How do I know if I’m being catfished?
If you think you may be the victim of a catfish, there are a few warning signs to look out for. First, pay attention to how quickly they contact you and move the conversation along. If someone seems eager to become close with you too soon, that could be a red flag. Second, be suspicious if they always ask for money or try to keep you from meeting in person. Third, watch for discrepancies in their story about themselves. Do their pictures change frequently? Does their story keep shifting? These are all potential clues that you may be talking to a fake profile created as part of a scam. Finally, trust your instincts; if something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. It’s better to seek help from family and friends or report the situation to the authorities than risk becoming a victim of fraud.
What do I do if I suspect that I’m being catfished?
If you suspect that you are being catfished, the first thing you should do is take a step back and assess the situation objectively. It’s important to remember that, even if it appears to be someone you trust, there may be underlying motives at work. Ask yourself: when did contact begin? Has there been consistent communication? Do they have any mutual contacts or friends? Is it unusual for someone to be so eager to meet up?
Additionally, consider video chatting or making an in-person meetup, particularly if things have gotten overly serious or if money is involved. Remember that if you haven’t met them in person and the conversation has taken unexpected turns, it’s possible that you’re dealing with someone who isn’t being truthful about their identity or intentions.
Finally, make sure to take some necessary precautions, such as setting up a Google Voice number or using a secondary email address before revealing too much personal information or engaging in video conversations. If meeting in person is not an option, evaluate your conversations carefully and do some background research of your own. In the event that red flags still exist after taking these steps, it’s best to err on the side of caution and pull away from the interaction.
Are there any websites I can use that don’t have Catfish?
No sadly not, if a website has a facility for chats, or posting images, then they will have people trying to fake or scam people.
Their phone number seems real as it has the same area code and country code how can they be fake?
Often scammer and catfish will take people away from the website they initially met on to get you on your own to work on you, often they will send you a local phone number as a convincer that they are in the same part of the world as you, for example a mobile phone number that’s similar, so you can exchange texts or use WhatsApp, these numbers are fake numbers or virtual numbers that anyone, anywhere in the World can buy, so a phone number is not a sign someone is real.
If I catfish someone does that make me a bad person?
Let me be clear here, there are no positives or good aspects to catfishing someone, if you are someone catfishing someone and you don’t know this is a bad thing to do to someone, you need professional help, its bad and DONT do it to people
Has a catfishing ever turned out to be good or turned into a real romance?
On catfish the program rarely, in real life never, to start a relationship based on lies is never going to work if someone is catfishing you, its not going to turn into a romance if you confide that you know what they are doing.
Do people catfishing others ever admit it?
Very rarely in my time online I have been catfished (I was aware what was happening and went along with it) Often it was gay men pretending to be girls, once you figure out and tell them that you know they are fake, they usually abuse you or just block you, they will not admit to what they have been doing and often do not show any remorse for this kind of thing, so if you want to confront your catfish don’t expect them to say sorry, they often will just block you as soon as you tell them without another word.
Who creates fake profiles on social media sites?
The people doing the catfishing often just create a new email address and use this, if you are doing it on large scale they just buy accounts by 1000 a time, which is why when you see some of the names of the people, like women having names like John and David, because they dont check the profile they just upload images to them,
How do I prove I am not being catfished?
Get them to live video chat with you, and get them to speak to you, make sure the words they say matches the person speaking, a common scam is to use a video of someone else and speak over the video and pretend its you in the video, so if they say their internet is bad or something like that before you start, you should be instantly suspicious, get them to touch their nose for you or something, make it fun and not creepy you are only checking they are real, most normal people would not care and realise your just trying to be safe.
I do not want to accept I am being catfished and believe the person is real
Its pretty common when you are being conned or tricked like this to be in some kind of denial, which basically means you find it hard to accept the person you have been speaking has lied to you, what I would say is they have manipulated you in such a way that you become convinced, you have to set this feeling aside and trying to think about things logically.
Should I send money to my friend online who says he needs it?
Never EVER EVER send money to someone you have met online, if someone is asking you for money they will only ask for more if you give in, there are no circumstances ever that a stranger should need you to bail them out with money, even if they say its for cancer medicine or they will die, NEVER send money to anyone you have not met in person or have actually touched.
What are some of the ways to avoid being catfished?
Don’t be so easy to trust someone online and watch out for the warning signs, sometimes when you get close to someone online it makes you feel like this person is someone you can really trust, but really you have no idea who you are speaking to unless you can actually see them on a live video feed, watch for warning signs like, business running into money trouble, or they need money, or wild stories about being sexually assaulted or other sick stories that you find hard to believe, often these are lies to try to manipulate your feelings towards them, if they can make you feel pity for them, its easier for them to take advantage of you.
Are some of the people who catfish sick or suffering from mental illness?
Without doubt some of the people who display this type of behaviour are sick, there was one instance where a couple were looking for a surrogate, they met a woman on a website who said she would do this for them, only to be a catfish and just disappear after months of planning, this is behaviour of a very sick person.
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